27 May 2011

Life's too short to coupon

I really admire my friends who coupon. They show me their pile of treats that they got for like $2 and I feel like a sucker.

Why haven't I done this sooner? Why don't I have 7 body washes and 16 razors and 20 packs of Hamberger Helper for 20cents?

I feel frantic. I must do this and now. Nevermind that we don't use any of those brands. I need them for 20cents.

But really, all the people that I know who coupon are very smart and some are my dear friends and I want in.

So, I ignored the advice that you do it without kids, because really, when am I going to town without kids? In the middle of the night? After work when I am tired? At 4AM so I can get home in time for my husband to be at work? I took the beasts. They weren't really the problem, but they sure didn't help.

I didn't need a single thing in the entire packet of coupons. I clipped out things I have always wanted to try and may very well use. I saw that somethings were tricky and you needed to use one coupon before you get the other discount...etc. I understand that sometimes you get cash back to apply to something else and sometimes you end up saving in a round about way... it's all very tricky and mathematical. I am not.

I figured it all out (I thought) and double checked before check-out.

The sweet elderly Filipino woman at the check-out hated to burst my bubble. Repeatedly.

Her: "Honey you get $1.00 off if you buy two of these. You have one."

Me: "Aw man, how'd I miss that. Ok, I will just buy the one." (crumple coupon and shove in my back pocket)

Her: "Ok, so you want this moisturizer, but you need the Venus razor replacement to get the discount..."

Me: "What? Not the razor itself?"

Her: "No, that's for this coupon."

Me: "Ok, so I need to buy the razor AND the replacements?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "I'll just get the razor with this coupon and buy that cream without anything." (crumple coupon and shove in my back pocket)

Her: "You sure?"

Me: "I suppose so. I kind of suck at this huh?"

Her: "Well....."

Me: "So, how about I just pay for everything and be done and never do this again."

Her: laughing a lot

I left feeling like I would rather pay tripple for EVERYTHING for the rest of my life than try to finagle the couponing world again. I do not want to figure it out. I don't. In the words of my father-in-law Dale, "I already have a religion."

So, yeah, I'm just not "cut-out" for couponing. I hope you appreciated that pun. The end.


kimball said...

Stephanie, You are just like me. First I am embarrassed to look so petty and cheap, then I rarely if ever need or want what is on the coupon. Plus I'm too lazy and indolent to have the planets align to get the savings. I give up before even starting. I respect others who have the tenacity and intelligence to make it work.

Christina said...

hehe you just need to find a website that does it all for you!! Seriously, they post what is on sale at what store and what coupon to use for it with the info on how to get the coupon.

You should see my stockpile =o) It's all things we use and most were free or under $1! And that's here in coupon-phobic Canada. I'd love to coupon in the US!!

Don't give up!! And I've gotten coupons for meat and fresh produce as well as healthy things like tofu, tuna, salmon. Keep trying!

Alli said...

Amen Uncle Kimball.

Josh and Laura said...

I'm with ya. I used to get my scissors and go wild clipping coupons from the ads, but then I never remembered to bring them with me to the store. Or when I actually did bring them with me I would always get distracted at the check-out trying to keep Bryn happy, and I'd forget the coupons jammed in my pockets.

boo face mcjones said...

Yeah, and it also takes a butt load of time. I use coupons when I am thinking about it and save a little money here and there, but I am generally with you: I already have a religion.

Meg said...

I am so happy about this! I recently have been watching extreme couponing and I feel frantic as well. Like I need to start researching, and collecting coupons the second the show is over. I feel like I am missing out on something HUGE. So I am glad that you helped me realize it isn't that great.

melissa said...

ha! i was just at a primary presidency meeting and we were talking about couponing. two of the ladies (girls i should say) were so into it a few years back they haven't bought deodorant for four years. that just seems weird to me. i have a hard time buying even two for later, so i don't think couponing is for me either. it's like that time i went to sam's club. (yes, the one time.)

Melissa said...

Been there!! haha

My Sister in law hasn't paid for diapers for her third baby at all because she used points and coupons to get them for free, and she stocked up. She also has a whole room full of things they need and use (laundry soap, baby wash, toothpaste, cans of food etc.) the list literally goes on and on.

Every time I go over there I feel like I super suck. I console myself by telling myself that it takes way too much time...time I am not willing to spend. Which is partially true. :)

Mostly I just don't get it. :)

lizzie said...

Amen and amen. And amen again. My time and sanity is worth more than I would spend trying to figure out the couponing world.

liko said...

i admire that you TRIED!! which is more than i can say for myself. and i think that extreme couponing success can only be achieved in the mainland because we have so many limits on how many items we can buy because everything is imported.
guess i'm a suckah, too.

Sheila... said...

Love that the lady just laughed at you. :)
I've tried coupon-ing a few times and I feel the same way. It is normally for things I don't need and end up paying money that I didn't need to (even if it is only $1, it's a $1 for something I didn't need).
And don't you think stores should make a play area at the front of the store to keep your kids while you shop (like Ikea. ??) then I could really go for it.

Henke Family said...

haha! This post made me laugh because I am just like you! I decided to just buy what I need and use. Much easier.....and I think more frugal because I am not spending moola on something I may never use.

rachel said...

the important thing is that you bought 'mini donuts'...oh how I love those...

iMaLLheaRt said...

Seriously! All those coupons I see in the paper and such are for things that I don't even use! I can't do the couponing either...so we just buy in bulk and have bulky items in the house! I do however like to use pizza coupons! ;)

Ashley said...

I think this is my favorite post of yours...EVER! I laughed so hard. I had to stop reading a few times cause I couldn't see through the tears in my eyes.

Roeckers said...

LOve love love!! I have the same feelings. I love a good deal but would rather do it without "waiting for the stars to align" to get it!

laurel said...

My feeling is that cupons are just a way to trick people into buying things they don't really need or want. At least that's the funtion they would play in my life.

Actually, I don't have very strong feelings on cupons at all. I mostly wanted to comment to say that I love this song and I am going to add it to my favorite pandora station (The Verve)and is maybe that will help me study.

Also, in latent response to another one of your earlier blog posts which I just caught up on, (I know I'm breaking all the rules of the blogosphere) travelling the world isn't always all it's cracked up to be, not that I don't love it too.

big hug to you and your loves!

Karina said...

ha ha! i laugh because i feel the same way! only my story is worse because my own HUSBAND is a coupon-er.

Carrie said...


Priceless. And I'm in the same boat!

echo said...

so true. life is too short to coupon. i am with you all the way on that one.