I really admire my friends who coupon. They show me their pile of treats that they got for like $2 and I feel like a sucker.
Why haven't I done this sooner? Why don't I have 7 body washes and 16 razors and 20 packs of Hamberger Helper for 20cents?
I feel frantic. I must do this and now. Nevermind that we don't use any of those brands. I need them for 20cents.
But really, all the people that I know who coupon are very smart and some are my dear friends and I want in.
So, I ignored the advice that you do it without kids, because really, when am I going to town without kids? In the middle of the night? After work when I am tired? At 4AM so I can get home in time for my husband to be at work? I took the beasts. They weren't really the problem, but they sure didn't help.
I didn't need a single thing in the entire packet of coupons. I clipped out things I have always wanted to try and may very well use. I saw that somethings were tricky and you needed to use one coupon before you get the other discount...etc. I understand that sometimes you get cash back to apply to something else and sometimes you end up saving in a round about way... it's all very tricky and mathematical. I am not.
I figured it all out (I thought) and double checked before check-out.
The sweet elderly Filipino woman at the check-out hated to burst my bubble. Repeatedly.
Her: "Honey you get $1.00 off if you buy two of these. You have one."
Me: "Aw man, how'd I miss that. Ok, I will just buy the one." (crumple coupon and shove in my back pocket)
Her: "Ok, so you want this moisturizer, but you need the Venus razor replacement to get the discount..."
Me: "What? Not the razor itself?"
Her: "No, that's for this coupon."
Me: "Ok, so I need to buy the razor AND the replacements?"
Me: "I'll just get the razor with this coupon and buy that cream without anything." (crumple coupon and shove in my back pocket)
Her: "You sure?"
Me: "I suppose so. I kind of suck at this huh?"
Me: "So, how about I just pay for everything and be done and never do this again."
Her: laughing a lot
I left feeling like I would rather pay tripple for EVERYTHING for the rest of my life than try to finagle the couponing world again. I do not want to figure it out. I don't. In the words of my father-in-law Dale, "I already have a religion."
So, yeah, I'm just not "cut-out" for couponing. I hope you appreciated that pun. The end.