07 April 2012

When another friend leaves, and another. Alternate title: Matti love

I took these pictures in January I think. So it's been a while, but I just noticed a file still on my desktop that says: "Matti is moving." It made me sad. Matild is a good friend. She is her own kind of woman and does things her own special Matti way. Her name is not really Matild, but for some reason I have given just about her entire family nicknames and that is hers.

If you live in Hawaii you get really accustomed to saying goodbye and it almost takes on a routine. We all spread the shocking news: "so-and-so is leaving!" And then we all feel sad that we are being abandoned once again and we all feel a little twinge of jealousy that we aren't the ones living closer to civilization and family and bigger houses that cost less and more affordable food, gas, everything...etc. Then we all rally around the person and have a going away party and then the person is gone. Sometimes they come back for a visit and tell us about the prices of milk on the mainland and how they get to attend all the baptisms and blessings in their family and sometimes they just become lifelong facebook friends.

Inevitably we all regroup again and stronger friendships are formed around this missing piece left by the friend who is no longer here and life slowly goes on. To keep life going on we spend a lot of time outdoors so we are reminded of why we hold on for dear life out here where everything costs more, and where we miss all those baptisms and blessings, and where we don't turn on the lights in the middle of the night if we have to use the bathroom because we DO NOT want to see what is crawling all around us. We, instead, soak in the magic that is Hawaii and move on.

I had a hard time with this one. I've had a hard time with many of them, but this one in particular I woke up so many mornings feeling sad and doing crazy things like wearing Matti's shirts days in a row for weeks at a time. A friend would see me in her old shirts and say, "Awwwww that's Matti's shirt! I have her skirt, pants, and cake pans!" We all have these little pieces of our friend that we love. I kept having flashbacks to the work luncheon we shared when we had our first babies, spending all day together when we first moved to Hauula so we could take turns working out or go to the beach, long and messy days in Town with our kids screaming in the backseat, sharing personal things and having a shoulder to cry on and vice versa, the Stay-cation our families took together, rolling our eyes as our husbands talked about social work all the time, camping and trick-or-treating together, eating a lot together because we like to....etc.

I am still not over her move even though life has had to go on. So here's some pictures from her fun going away party that Echo organized. It was a great night with lots of good friends and love. If you don't know Matti- she's the pregnant lady with a cast! If you do know Matti you are chuckling at that description because it's so like Matti to be about-to-pop pregnant, with a cast, and still look gorgeous and be the life of the party! Matild, we all miss you and love you!


echo said...

tears. tears. tears.

melissa said...

i'm sorry, steph. she sounds great. i have told you before that i'm pretty jealous of the friend system you have over there, but it sure stinks that they all leave at some point. i wish i had a friend like that around here, though, even for a little while!

(ps i told nate he couldn't read my comment because it was girly and silly and now he's taunting me saying, "pink pink princess sparkle sparkle sparkle." so that's nice.)

Mariko said...

I don't know Matti very well-- just the one time at your Karaoke party where she was dancing like a champ but then feeling sick (because evidently, she was pregnant? I think?) and when I came home I told Jake all about the extremely physical singing but also about Matti being kind of an amazing dancer. She dances like a marathoner.
Anyway, I agree that saying goodbye is a huge life sucker but also a thing that bonds the ones left behind.
Jake and I joke, though, that we have no friends left to say goodbye to. He's a little jealous that I've found some cool girls. I guess we should push the couples friends thing on him after all.

ashley said...

we lost a good one we did.

steph, i want to write like you. i have these little flashes of light in my head and i think something that sounds good every once in a while but then i forget it. i find myself nodding in agreement with everything you write and it all sounds so good and beautiful how you put it. go english major. no, make that go english teacher. you rule.