I don't want to take away from the art work Thomas posted tonight so everyone please be sure to check out the posting before this one since I am quite touched and pleased by it- but I just had some thoughts today that I kept thinking I should share. I guess our family blog is kind of like a family journal since I haven't written anything down about Ambrose or our family since he was born unless it has been on here and so I hope this is the appropriate forum to post my thoughts on.
We went to church today in a larger setting- if you are not Mormon- we went to a special meeting today with a larger group of lds people and they call it Stake Conference- basically a chance to get together in a larger setting and hear some church leaders speak. Today one of our new leaders (well, he has been a leader for a while, but is in a new position working more closely with our prophet) spoke to us through a satellite broadcast. I was feeling really negative at the time since Ambrose is teething (it looks like maybe more than two teeth on the top are coming right on in) and has a cough/cold and it was during his nap time. I was thinking to myself, "Why did I even come? So I could walk around in heels carrying a sick and cranky baby the whole time?" and then Amby just kind of calmed down and went to sleep and I was really humbled as I listened to our new second counselor, President Eyring speak via satellite. He talked about the value of good friends in a person's growing up years and life in general and the importance of being a good example and a good member of the church.
I usually don't really post religious things on here for no reason in particular. I guess I either figure that I don't want to sound preachy or maybe I just feel the need to reserve those kinds of personal feelings- but I feel like I really want everyone to know that I am so glad to be a member of the LDS church. I feel a peace and a fullness in my life because of it. I guess I just want to say that it brings me great comfort and makes me happy. That's not to say that I walk around grinning ear to ear everyday, bounding energetically out of bed, humming Disney songs to myself, never feeling down or lonely... people like that frighten me :)- but I do feel secure, even in my very darkest moments, in the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me and loves me and I am grateful for my membership in the LDS church. I am sorry if I have ever been a bad example, because I know I have been or given the wrong impression of what the LDS church stands for (because it stands for some truly amazing, powerful, but simple truths). What I do hope is to be a good example of someone who has faith and hope for the future and is trying to help others on their way as well. We can all just do our best right? That's what I hope to do anyway. The last thing I feel like I want to say is that if anyone reading this needs my help in anyway, please feel free to talk to me about it and I would love to be there for you. I have had some truly amazing friends and family help me out so much and I really want to be able to be there for others if I can.
Ok, enough of that. I've felt the need to post that for a while now, but never did and today I couldn't make the feeling go away so I hope this helped someone. I know it helped me to get it out. :) Ah! I have to urge to delete this for fear of posting so many personal thoughts and having people think I am nuts, but I am just going to press publish- haha. Good night.
10 comments:
i love you steph! you have always been a great friend to me and i really appreciate that you always listen to my complaints. in fact i went to your house tonight to give you some cookies and to tell you that you are great, but the lights were all off and the house was completely dark so i figured you were not home. or that ambi was asleep and you were doing the nightly ritual of sitting in the dark for an hour, either way i felt i shouldn't interupt. so i will bring you some tomorrow. love you steph!
Hey--good job for listening to promptings. I think it's very brave of you to share your most intimate beliefs/feelings in a very public place. Your very inspiring to me.
Also your the type of person that everyone wants to be friends with cause your so stinking nice. I'm glad I stalked your blog so that we could be friends.
Lastly, I really really hope it wasn't my child that passed the cough to your child, but alas I fear it was. I really am sorry. Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?
Thanks Stephanie-
I can't really think of much to say but I appreciate this post and I know that it can be hard to get so personal on a blog but you guys have always made me feel so comfortable sharing my feelings.I want you to know that we love hearing your thoughts and feelings and love your friendship. So get as personal as you want because I love it.
Your blog is TOTALLY the place to express your thoughts and feelings. We all appreciate hearing them -- and you help others by inspiring and/or validating their own thoughts. Or we can at least commiserate. You are an awesome girl, and I'm so glad you're my cousin! I will take you up on your offer -- I am slightly freaking out about PLANS :) and I think you probably have some perspective. So sometime when you have a moment, please call :)
love.
steph, i think you are the greatest--and not in that really cliche "you're great" kind of way. thank you for being so wonderful though we never see each other. you are an amazing example, and you always have been to me. thanks for being you.
cyber spoons.
What a wonder post! You are so wonderful. Thank you!
It is always comforting to know there are others out there that struggle going to church with a little one and then realize it is more than worth it after hearing the spirit whisper to us.
I can't imagine you as anything but a good friend and family member...
It is always a little nerve-wracking to post something so personal, but sometimes it just isn't enough to write it in your personal journal. You have to share it with people because you love them. I think this post is a great example of that.
Hooray! A blog with real substance. I love Stephanie.
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