I took these one lazy afternoon last week. We have a lot of lazy afternoons now that I am working in the early morning.
I am grateful for this even if I don't always enjoy every second.
My friend sent me a really good article about the life of a stay-at-home mother and how we don't have to seize the day or enjoy and savor every little moment. If this seems confusing or counter-intuitive to what you have been told by magazines, blogs, and other well-meaning moms-- you are in the same boat I was when I first read the article's title, but JUST READ IT and it will make sense.
I love my children and we have happy moments together and I am so glad to be in a position right now where I can be with them pretty much all day long, but it is not always fun, easy, or even completely worthwhile and fulfilling. There are days when I am counting down the nano-seconds until I can toss their whiny little selves into bed so I can get a second of peace, there are embarrassing public displays of tantrums and me losing it in front of a line of childless independents with snide or disapproving looks on their faces, there are frequently more time-outs than "blog worthy" moments, and there are moments of longing for a life outside of my current one. A well-dressed, carefree, late-night out, jet-set kind of life. I will be honest enough to admit that.
But for some reason, no matter how long the day has been or how many times Asher had to hug his brother and say sorry or how many times Ambrose went bat-crazy over treats... I want more. MORE MORE MORE. I want more. And I want to be better and I never, ever want to give up and I want to sneak in their sleepy, dark bedroom to gaze at their puffy cheeks breathing in and out and hold their soft, limp little hands in mine and just breathe in the thick, dreamy air.
I wake up sleepy, but my heart beats faster as soon as I hear their drowsy little voices, groggily asking for something outrageous and just before my temper spikes at such an unreasonable request I catch a glimpse of their wild tufts of bedhead.
These days are long, but not forever, and I do not have to enjoy every single moment, but I am so grateful they are mine.