The growing Ambrose.

Familiar sights, familiar sounds, and the things that we do when we're hanging around.

Ambrose has been in Kindergarten for about three weeks now and he likes it just fine.  Some days he doesn't want to get ready and go and some days he comes home upset that a certain kid wouldn't let him play at recess and it breaks my heart.  Those stupid kids!  Why can't everyone just play with everyone?! :)

Most days though he enjoys getting through his homework and hugs his teacher before he leaves class and eats things he would never eat for me the one day a week I let him buy school lunch and tells me about a new friend he's made and sings a new song for me and feels super cool about riding his razor scooter to school and gives us an ear full about something he learned.

I take the good with the bad when it comes to school.  I don't know why it feels so strange to send my kids off for the day to be with other people I hardly know doing who knows what.  I know it is good for them, but I am still adjusting.  I am happy that he is having a good time with it and learning from the hard experiences too.

Our Ambrose Carl certainly is growing up.

Home.

Found here

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea 

E. E. Cummings

Breaking records.

It's hailing in Hawaii and not just any hail. Check this out:

From this site.

Thomas says he doesn't ever remember there being hail here before. Crazy! It's kind of exciting, but sad too for all the houses around here that get their yearly flooding when it rains and pours non-stop like this. Stay dry and safe everyone!

The martyr complex

When I am stressed I am homesick.

Thomas pointed this out to me one day when I was saying maybe it's about time we packed up and moved on outta here like he's always been saying we would one day.

He said he gets nostalgic when he is stressed and he starts wishing for simpler times like when we were dating or back in the day with all his buddies he grew up with.

It's only natural to wish for something you've preserved in your mind (and maybe even candy-coated over time) when things aren't exactly ideal in the real world you must inhabit.

When something or someone annoys me I start researching social work jobs on the mainland.

When I am buried in a pile of papers to grade I check prices on flights to my sisters.

When I am overwhelmed by the mess or mundane of everyday life I call my parents and either whine a lot or over-sell how great we are doing and they always patiently hear me out and offer advice or applaud.... whatever the situation calls for.

I was discussing this with my brilliant pal Emily on the bike path the other day and she laughed because it seemed so familiar to her. She said, it's the classic "martyr complex" all of us mainland transplants have.

We know we live in one of the most absolutely amazing places on earth but the lure of cheaper housing, food, EVERYTHING is almost too much to bare. Add in the fact that we all miss our families and mainland friends so much we die a little inside each time we call home and happen to hear everyone gathered around enjoying each others company..... without us!

My parent's California phone number on my cell phone is still set as: HOME.

BUT WE HAVE THE BEACH!!!!!!!! And lots of it. Is the beach really worth it? I was starting to think: NO.

And then last Saturday, I was enjoying a wonderful anniversary with Thomas after a week where my martyr complex was thick and fierce and hanging around my family like a threatening storm. We went to a really cool movie, but before the really cool movie there was a preview for a George Clooney movie set in Hawaii. I cannot begin to tell you what the movie was all about but Thomas and I sat motionless for at least 3 minutes while it played out in beautiful scenes of Oahu. Even the neighborhood's colors it was set in made my heart ache a little and Thomas would excitedly whisper to me, "OH! That's totally the Pali!" etc. etc. and I missed Hawaii.

More than I have ever missed cheaper housing or food or anything I missed Hawaii.

I don't know how we will ever leave.

Thomas says someday we will.

I think I know where my roots are planted even if they feel a little foreign sometimes. No matter what we are together, we are here, so I guess we are home.