i went to the OBGYN today and saw my little baby child no. 2 dancing around on a fuzzy black and white screen. i am like 8 weeks and 3 days along they said, but true to ambrose form, this child is already measuring in at 9 weeks or so. in other words, big, just like its big godzilla brother. i dont mind though. they said if your first baby was over 8 pounds you are considered a high risk pregnancy, but not to worry since i managed to push out a 9 and a 1/2 pounder last time. i told her- piece of cake- let's do it again!
and that's what's so funny to me lately. i cant believe this is my life. am i really going to have two kids? two kids. TWO KIDS.
this weekend i asked thomas how old he feels- does he feel like he's 28? he said that that was the strange thing. sometimes he thinks about his life, like he is in a rock band that plays shows late at night in clubs and bars on the weekends and he feels like that is something a 19 year old would do. and then he thinks, i have a good paying steady job, a wife, a child and one on the way and that is something a 35 year old would do. but he is 28. maybe that's the average of the two worlds.
i am 24, but still feel 17 sometimes. i am still my parents daughter, who takes every chance to drive around with loud music, pretending i am karen o. or something and sill holding out hope that maybe someday i will be. i get afraid to go to bed late at night when thomas is away playing a show so i keep a light on or watch a movie until i crash. i frequently wear a hello kitty bracelet and have more fun than ambrose on holidays and rolling around at the beach in the sand.
but, then again, i am a college graduate, mother of one and a half, wife, i make dinner nearly every night and it is always healthy, i am really proud when i do an efficient day of laundry, and i supervise 23 or so mentally retarded or disabled clients and their workers for a big mental health agency. so maybe i am 35 as well.
it doesnt matter what age we are or what age we feel. this is our life and it all happened very suddenly and very naturally at the same time.
i guess what matters is that we have the energy to do it, the love to spread around, and the determination to get it right.
stompin around the yard.