Do you find yourself romanticizing portions of your life?
Like Mates of State sing: "But any time is better than now..."
I know I do this.
I've really tried to focus on enjoying the present lately and it's the best gift I've ever given myself.
But, I have to admit that tonight I laid in bed and thought about when we were first engaged and I lived with long lost bosom buddy Deanna and I surfed and skated and went to shows with my Anna too. And Tee Driggs was all around providing the thrift inspirations and new music and hilarity. My heart misses these names. I can still see Lisse's inspiration wall in her kitchen and if I close my eyes I will be sitting on her bed, laughing and going through all those CDs. Being amazed at the armful of clothes she found for me at Savers while looking for herself. I dressed all crazy and lived my own artistic reality as I finally allowed myself to be who I wanted. I was a little chubbier and didn't notice. I drove around and around an island all night, most nights, singing at the top of my lungs with a boy who had all kinds of things to say that I had never heard before. And all those times I wanted him to kiss me when he hadn't gotten up the courage yet. Precious each and every one. I want to hold on to that giddy uncertainty. I love him for it. I got in trouble for talking in Hula class and frequently dug up nerdy mischief with my fellow geek reporters in the newsroom. I hitch-hiked with my roommate and giggled in bunk beds and danced like a fool. I got good grades for the first time in my life. I fell in love with literature and figured out how to write well. I camped on beaches in unhealthy gulps and got lost in the pursuit of adventure.
That gulp of time is mine forever. I'm happy to remember it.
I wonder when I'll start romanticizing these days?
These days that seem to stretch out endless where selfless acts abound and little hands reach for mine.
I think I'll start now.