I don't have anything fancy to say or a cute way to write this and I started writing it once or twice already and it sounds weird. So, I am sorry to have to announce this on a blog because that is awkward, but it was the best way I could think to let some people I really care about know what is going on with us without making more phone calls where I blubber and cry. I don't want to keep telling this over and over and speculating. I hope you understand.
Here's the maybe too personal details... you have been warned.
So the antibiotic didn't work and my doctor was baffled and thought either my kidneys weren't functioning properly (the blood test is being process right now) or I had bad complications with my IUD.
So she sent me to my OBGYN and everything was checking out fine on that end and I will spare you all the details (YUCK), but in the last exam with an ultrasound she started making strange faces. She tested some other things, took several more pictures and scans and showed me a big white mass with fluid all around it.
They are not sure what it is and they have some guesses, but she had never seen anything like it before and wanted it out immediately.
It has nothing to do with my IUD, or any of the symptoms that I have been experiencing over the last seven weeks.... that is a little frustrating because it feels like, "SOMETHING ELSE!!? And another unknown at that?!"
But the surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at noon and she is hoping to cut it all out and if she can't she will try something else that I will also spare you the details on and she said there is a chance she won't be able to cut it out, but at least once they can see it up close they might know more about it and go from there.
So. After I got done crying and crying like a baby I am thinking:
Well hooray for being sick all that time because I would NEVER have landed myself in that office for that ultrasound.
And with all trials, they help us learn and grow even if they completely suck at the time. I am completely jittery about my surgery tomorrow just because of the "unknown," but I am relying on my Heavenly Father and he knew that I needed a chance to exercise my faith.
I actually feel completely calm when I think about the future. I know this, and whatever else was making me sick for so long will get resolved and I will get back to being me.
It's just the right now that is.... totally crappy. See, I told you this post would not be well written or clever.
Anyway, that's what is going on. I will, of course, keep you posted when I am up to it.
But don't worry- these dudes are as cute as ever:
And although I am feeling nervous, jittery, and wishing I had more answers than questions regarding my body right now... I do feel very thankful and watched over by my Heavenly Father who knows me and my little family and loves us.
25 comments:
ill be thinking of you. take it easy friend! Love ya lots!
Praying for a successful surgery. Lets find some answers! Love you Steph!
three cheers for stephanie! xxoo i'll be praying.
and, what? my verification is "prose." sweet.
We are praying for you too, that the surgery will be sucessful, they will figure out what it is so there are no more questions, they will be able to removed it if needed, you will heal quickly, and most importantly you will find peace in your heart.
GOODNESS. I am sure all will be well. You are a strong woman, please let us help with ANYTHING.
oh dear, my friend. so so sorry... the unknown is the worst, in my opinion.
we'll keep you in our thoughts, and prayers. sorry steph...
love.
You are right! As much as it sucks to be so sick, it is a blessing that it landed you in there for that ultrasound, that otherwise you would not have had. Please know our prayers are being sent heavenward for you and your family. Praying for lots of peace through it all! We have no doubt you will be watched over by our loving heavenly Father, and so will your family. Hang in there and hope you guys get the answers you are searching for soon. the unknown sometimes is so frustrating, especially when it has to do with health. Hope you are back to your full wonderful health again very soon. We love you!!
Much love to you and we'll definitely be offering prayers on your behalf. I'm so sorry that you've been feeling crummy for so long and have all these questions. This sounds like a big step to finding out what is wrong though. Very recently my mum took a fall and broke her hand... that bad incident was the impetus to discovering a heart problem she has and is now being treated for. I agree with you that sometimes it's with one challenge that we get to resolve another one. Praying that your surgery goes extremely well.
Steph! I love you so much and wish I could be there to help you. We will be praying for you and thinking about you lots.
I love you! I'm so sorry this has happened, but I too believe it was for a reason and will be for the better. My prayers and thoughts are with you!
Oooh Stephanie I will be praying for you! Surgery is no fun, but atleast you will get to be waited on hand and foot for the next while. Everything will be ok! I can just feel it! Let me know if I can do anything or take your little cute kids. I Brighton would LOVE the company!! Seriously, don't be afraid to tell your husband to call me!
Hey Stephanie. Thinking about you. Thank you for sharing because if it weren't on the blog I doubt I would know and I like knowing about you. I hope everything goes smoothly. All my best to you and the fam.
you are loved. and watched over. you have been blessed with a very supportive husband and 2 cute cute boys who adore you. i know that everything will be great tomorrow and that we will soon be going out for ice cream to celebrate your full recovery. until then, i hope you know i am here and would help you out at anytime, anyplace. love you.
steph, i hope you are somewhere relaxing or enjoying yourself, and in no physical pain or discomfort whatsoever. i am very...concerned, and a little teary. i kept having this worried feeling since it'd been awhile since your last post, but i didn't expect this. i really love you and miss you friend more than ever. i will be thinking (and praying) about you constantly until i hear the update. how i wish we could bring you a big brown paper bag of goods to have after the surgery tomorrow.
Stephanie, I am sorry to hear this news! I will be thinking of you at 7 p.m. tomorrow (noon your time). I know everything will go well with the surgery, don't worry. I am so glad you were able to find out you needed it. I wish we weren't so far away right now! Love you!!
Sorry to hear you've been going through this, but it sounds like you are on the verge of getting some answers. Surgery is never fun, but it will pass and will be for the best. Lots of love and prayers! Starting next week, I am free to babysit in the evenings! I can come over and watch the boys and you can lay on the couch and watch movies and we talk talk sewing society.
I love you Stephanie!!! My heart and mind will be with you tomorrow. And we most def will be saying a super special shout out for you in our family prayer tonight. Im so glad, in a weird way, and grateful too that you were so sick and that you even had an IUD there to cause a flag. Just know that we all love (the Mactagone family especially) you very much and we will be wishing you the very, very best!! Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you out with anything...babysitting, food, shopping =)
I'm so sorry Stephanie. That is no fun at all. I agree that the unknown is so hard. Hopefully they will be able to figure this out soon for you and you can start to get better. I'm sorry you've been so sick! I'll be praying for you.
i am praying for you, friend!!
i feel so sad and out of touch with you and all the other wonderful people i call friends. i feel like i haven't been being a "friend". thank goodness for the internet, that way i can feel somewhat still involved with you and your lives.
i love you.
and i can help!! let me take the boys tomorrow! and yes, can i be invited to the celebratory icecream party to celebrate your speedy recovery??
Good luck steph! I know all will go well, we will be praying for you. Let me know what I can do to help!
i'm sending you love from across the pacific. hope everything goes well and i'll try and call you to see how things are going.
:)
Steph! What the crappy stuff? I am so freakin' sorry! Crazy. THinking of you tons and please, please call me to take the boys. I am an excellent babysitter :). Love you, friend.
Wow. How scary. But it's great to finally be getting some answers. Here's hoping all goes well with surgery.
Praying for ya in the Congo!
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