My kids are making forts and watching Barney so I'm going to attempt to type something out really quickly that has been on my mind.
*And before I get started, let me just say that this is my blog and therefore I reserve the right to delete any hateful comments. You don't ever have to agree with me, of course, and I've never gotten a "hate" comment on my blog before, but it could happen.*
Are you nervous about what I am going to post now? HA! Calm down. It's just my thoughts... oh wait, maybe be nervous after-all. Here goes...
Ambrose is getting to a somewhat surprisingly philosophical age. One day he indignantly questioned me for about 20 minutes about why I didn't have the Priesthood. He just didn't believe that I didn't feel left out or even care. I don't understand the women who get hung-up on that and feel maybe theirs is a bigger issue, like, maybe their fathers/husbands are just chauvinists and they need to get more chances to do what they want in their lives. I feel upset for them in that regard as well. That is absolutely pitiable and wrong. I doubt anyone really envies the responsibilities of the Priesthood, but perhaps they do feel powerless and that is an easy complaint to make in that regard. To those women I would just say, consider the power that comes from a person who actively facilities the carrying-out of a blessing in the life of a loved one. Men and women can do that and that is what counts. That seems even more effective to me anyway. How did I get here?
Sorry, back on topic.
The other day in the car Ambrose and I had a conversation that went something like:
A: Mama, I love you most in the whole world. (He was a little giddy because I was taking him to the movies. A rare treat in our house.) You're my precious mommy.
Me: I love you too and you are my amazing Ambrose. Did you know that there is no one just like you in the whole world? Pretty cool huh. Only one Ambrose just like you!
A: But I want to be the same as everybody!
Me: Really? All the time?
Me: Even if everyone is smoking?
A: Uh, no. Not then.
Me: Even if everyone is being mean to someone who needs a friend?
A: No not then either! (He started laughing at this point.)
Me: Even if everyone is going to church?
A: (senses a trick) Yeah, then I want to be the same.
I guess I just had this on my mind, because living in an area that is so densely populated with Mormons is a new experience for me these last 7-8 years and this idea of individuality subconsciously pervades any area like it. I saw it in Rexburg, Idaho and I always sense it in Utah.
So many people are so similar in their core beliefs that everyone is dying for any stab at uniqueness. They'll take what they can get too:
-The Mormon with outlandish and sometimes painfully awkward clothing choices
-The Mormon with political beliefs that they may not actually believe
-The Mormon who wears the fact that they seldom keep the Sabbath day holy like a badge of honor
-The Mormon who has a past and is going make sure everyone knows about it
-The Mormon who hates everyone who is happy
-THe Mormon who seems to look for reasons to be offended by their "clueless" neighbors and ward members
-The Mormon like me who is amused by all of this so much that she blogs about it at the risk of sounding extremely judgmental, thus negating her entire purpose for posting it in the first place....heh heh
-The Mormon who is dying to be in a leadership position so much that all their interactions feel like a political campaign
etc, etc, etc
I guess my point is that it is all pretty harmless until we feel like we need to be so different from our "cookie-cutter, do-gooder, normal run-of-the-mill happy" LDS neighbors that we lose sight of why we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the first place.
If you are an adult member of this Church, chances are you have felt the whisperings of the spirit and you know how sweet that is. You know that you need faith, but that you also need knowledge and it is up to you to find out the answers for yourself.
A solid testimony is YOURS, is unique, is personal and makes you who you are. No one will ever have the same one or be just like you. It is personal and makes you a true individual.
I love that I know this is true.