21 September 2011

When it's personal

I was sitting in a room with a lot of people last week feeling strong impressions of direction, good feelings, and promise.

It was a little over-whelming, invigorating, and honestly I have rarely experienced such a confirmation of the Spirit.

I try and keep close to the Spirit in my life so I can help others who need me, feel good about the path I am on, and comfort in times of need. It's almost something I take for granted, because I've tried to let it become a part of who I am to the core.

But last week was so different, and seemed bigger than the nudge I usually feel to call and offer to watch someone's kids or take someone a meal. This was a big life decision. I haven't felt this for a while. I was excited and scared and unsure of how to interpret this flood of feeling.

How do you sort it out?

Was this just a positive confirmation that I was in the right place, doing something good, or was this a big shove in a more complicated direction?

I am sorry to be so vague, but I am still sorting out all the details and possibilities myself. I won't have it all figured out anytime this year or maybe even next. What I thought "it" was last week has taken a different shape this week as I explore the possibilities, attend the temple, and continually pray for guidance.

I think I wanted a definite, shouting, clarifying answer. I think I wanted an etched-out course with a precise plan.

But, the more I ponder this new opportunity, the more I see that the Lord would never work that way. He lets us chose. He helps us to feel peace once we have done all the work to find the absolute best option for our family and selves.

I think I am so inexperienced with big, life-changing personal revelation that the first thought that entered my mind felt like the only choice. I was scared, but trusting in His plan for me. I know the Lord has a plan for us, but it's not a predestined command and agency is ours. I am grateful for this.

I am glad that this experience has allowed Thomas and I to sit down and decide what we want to do as a family, where we want to be, what we will give our precious time and energy to.

I am grateful that no matter what, whenever I put my husband and family first, I feel joy and peace.

Mostly I am just grateful for this sudden break in my life to sit and examine what I want, what the Lord wants, and feel so close to my family and Heavenly Father as I make the right choice. It has put everything into perspective for me. I am grateful that He gave me this chance to feel all of that. It helped me to stop the auto-pilot, seriously examine what we were doing, what we want, and make a good choice.

Isn't it cool that we all have this chance? Personal revelation is a marvelous gift.

I am so grateful for this intense week and in-love with my supportive husband and irresistible children. I will never, ever get tired of putting them first and dedicating my time to things I love on the side. I will never be sorry that I give them all I can possibly give. I feel peace in my role as their mother and grateful for the gifts and talents Heavenly Father has blessed me with to feel utilized and fulfilled in many roles in addition to the great love I have for my children.

I am curious to see what the Lord has in store for our family, and eager to learn more. What a journey and continual learning process! It would be exhausting if it weren't completely wonderful.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5–6).

Life is, in fact, good. Thanks for reading.


Kristen said...

Steph! You are such a great example. I know that whatever the Lord has in store for you and your family is going to be amazing! Love you!

kimball said...

I love you Steph. Dad

melissa said...

you are a good example, true. i feel like i'm much worse at interpreting those nudges than i used to be. maybe i don't try as hard?

Anna K. said...

I need to be better at this. Thank you for helping me to stop and evaluate life. You are awesome!

lizzie said...

Man, I feel like we are always stopping to evaluate, trying to figure out what needs to happen, where we should put our efforts, if we are in the right place, etc., but it seems like it has been a long time since I've felt nudged in any direction or that flood of feeling like something is really important for me to consider. I think that more than anything, I am realizing that I need to figure out how I receive revelation. Because I really haven't a clue.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder of that and I hope that you are able to come to some solid conclusions.

Sheila... said...

makes me wonder how many of those moments pass us by because we aren't in'tune'. thanks for the reminder to always be in the moment.

life is good.
especially when you have a friend to cut out silly black bats.
:) gracias.

Mariko said...

You are so cool.
I needed to read this.
Maybe you can pass on some revelation this way. I admit I'm not so good at getting it. Or maybe I'm just not so good at Getting It. If you know what I mean.

ashley said...

steph- your rad.

and now can you please give me details???????? ;)

Smiths said...

Thank you. So uplifting and motivating, as usual.

jill said...

you posted my favorite scripture! and yes, personal revelation is such a precious gift!

thanks for sharing.