02 August 2012


These photos were taken about 2-3 months ago at least.  We were just having one of our regular, long days together doing whatever we wanted.  Sometimes it was the beach, a park, a friends, and this time the porch.  It was probably hot.  I was probably feeling little baby kicks and reading on the rocking chair and they were probably digging, sliding, shooting, chasing, picking fruit and eating it, trapping ants... the usual.


Those were our everyday days.  Those days are long gone and I have been dreading this change all summer.  Probably longer than that even.  All summer I have repeated the same lines about how Ambrose is so ready for Kindergarten and how I was so sad to send Asher to preschool for speech because he's only three and it's an all-day program....etc.  My heart was broken for months leading up until now.  The same is true, but it's really ok.

Yes, I cried when I dropped Asher off the first three days and yes it is hard to be away from him for a huge chunk of his day, but I have to review the facts:

-After the second day he was a new child.  A child with a little swagger of confidence we have never seen.  
-The third day there he went to the bathroom for them.... like on the toilet.  WHAT?!
- He naps for them.
- He is talking way more and it's only been a week.  Granted, we still aren't sure what he's saying, but the words are unabashedly free flowing.  

I have had the most grateful heart thinking of the good this is doing for Asher.  I am slowly letting go of the sadness I feel at me not being able to be the one who helped him do all of these things, but very humble and grateful that we have the resources now available to us to help this precious boy.  

He loves it.  

Interestingly enough Ambrose hasn't even been to class yet because they take a really really long time to transition the Kindergartners in.  Tomorrow is his first day and he is DYING to go.  I am so thrilled for him!  


So the life we had is gone.  That's change for you- it happens.  I never thought change bothered me much, but apparently when it comes to the unknown and my children it does.  I have definitely learned from this experience and am embracing that learning experience.  

It's still kind of hitting me that both of my little boys will be gone every week day now from 7:50AM-2:15PM until they leave for college.  This is so strange.  

I will probably still miss them during the day and wish I could be the one helping Asher learn all of these things, but life is still very good.  I am letting it unfold as it will and feeling excited for my babies and ready for whatever comes next.


B said...

Oh your summer life sounds so wonderful. I wish I could be sitting on a rocking chair reading with you guys. It can be hard to not be every solution for those we love.I have the most difficult time just sitting back and letting things unfold but it usually works out splendidly when I do. Happy changes.

echo said...

i selfishly love that my green stripe shirt is in these photos. its like i am there too.;)

Susan said...

I always love your posts, thanks for sharing. Its like you help me see what my future will be like and help me enjoy the now :) Can't wait to see your new little one when the time comes!

Christina said...

You are such a good mom! My oldest is starting kindergartenl in September and it's only 3 hours a day but I'm looking forward to it ;)

modestmuse said...

Good for you! It sounds like Asher has a great opportunity and both the boys are going to enjoy this time of exciting change in their lives. And soon you'll have a little partner to hang out with at home again! The half-day "nursery schools" here are de rigeur, with kids (toddlers?) starting at or just before 2 yrs. old. Nile is now 2 yrs. 4 mos. and I don't think I'll start her till January after we get back from AZ. A few months ago it was traumatic to think of her entering a whole new phase of social learning, as she has been home with a nanny since she was born, but I increasingly see how it will be good for her, an exciting and important step in her development. Change, indeed!