during amby's nap today thomas came home early just as i was in the middle of an emergency phone call about one of the clients i supervise. i had to head out and take care of it for seven and a half hours (but who's counting). i dont like being away from my house, baby, and family like that. the one upside though is that these two boys get lots of quality time together on these rare occasions and always have a day full of adventures. i like coming home to a bright-eyed thomas, smiling as he details all the cute, clever, and funny things our boy has done all day. i feel drained from being away, but that feeling makes me appreciate all that thomas does everyday. what i did today is something he faces on a regular basis. it almost felt like me being out, leaving them to themselves, put him in that sweet stay-at-home parent energy and it was as if it recharged something in him. he had dinner ready for me, the boy was bathed, books read, vegetables fed, and dreaming in bed. we talked about what i did, how i handled it right, and that made me feel good. we talked about what we'll do next and that made me feel settled. i dont think i make a good social worker, because i just want to hug the clients and tell them it's all going to work out, when it might not. i dont think i make a good social worker because i just want to cry the whole way home and let it gnaw at me all weekend-- when it wasnt even that serious to begin with. these feeling confirm to me that i am more a mother than a service supervisor and coordinator. i know these things, but today was taken care of, today worked out, and now today is done.
3 comments:
oh dear, these pictures confirm what i've suspected for a long time. your husband and baby are too good to be true. they're actually ghosts, or maybe even dreamlike figures.
ahhhh, couldn't resist.
7+ STINKING HOURS? i can't even imagine what you spent all that time doing. and kind of like you said, don't worry about being a social worker, because i've not found anyone who's better at the job that's yours---amby's mama. and i want to be more like you.
Excellent pictures. And it's so nice to have someone to come home to that will help you sort out all those feelings and thoughts and emotions that would otherwise probably make your head or heart or both explode. Especially after more than 7 hours of hard emotionally draining work. Glad you made it through.
hard work, geeze! when does it end?
I'm glad you survived. and those pictures are the coolest.
I headed out to Ko'Olina for the weekend last minute and brought your stuff with me, but I forgot to stop by your house. I think we are coming home tonight. If so I might stop by on our way to give it to you. If not I will give it to you monday. Sorry lady.
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