anyway, i have been thinking about the future a lot. what will ours be like? how and when will we get through this shaky time for our little family and what do i need to do to help us stay afloat? sometimes it is hard to realize that even though other options seem more attractive or even more effective, you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. why is this hard? maybe because sometimes what you are supposed to be doing is not always the most fun, attractive, exciting or easy.
at the end of this week i felt tired, out of patience, sad, discouraged, and guilty for losing my temper so much.
so what do you do with a mess like that?
i'll tell you some choices i realized i had:
resentfully throwing a meal together is normal from time to time, but happily cooking for your family is more fun
shrugging off your persistent toddler while you're on the computer is not the end of the world, but scooping him up and asking him what he wants and then getting on your hands and knees to play with him is more exciting
ignoring all the crap that piles up on the kitchen counter and turning a blind eye to the crumbs on the carpet is just necessary sometimes, but taking a good 20 minutes to power through and get it all straightened up will clear your head and allow the spirit in your home
watching junk tv can be a good way to unwind occasionally, but planning a quilt with your new cool fabric is a better use of time
yelling at your son when you are really frustrated with yourself because you aren't being the kind of mom you want to be happens sometimes, but taking a deep breath and remembering that he is a two year old and you are the mother will create a better bond
stressing out over finances is inevitable, but when you accept the things you cant control, live within your means, and move forward with faith no matter what then fear and worry cant take over
driving to honolulu every saturday to sew is fun, but today reserving that time to cuddle up with my husband, read to and go for a walk with my son, and relaxing with my family at the beach was better
i think that i was letting circumstances that i can't control get in my way and take over. this helped:
"Count your blessings; name them one by one. You don’t need a great big mansion of a house with an all-consuming mortgage that goes on forever. You do need a comfortable and pleasant home where love abides. Someone has said that there is no more beautiful picture than that of a good woman cooking a meal for those she loves. Weigh carefully that which you do. You do not need some of the extravagances that working outside the home might bring. Weigh carefully the importance of your being in the home when your children come from school." -Gordon B. Hinckley
here's the rest if you want
12 comments:
i agree with you 100%. you are a great person and i love you steph.
oh, steph, i have been there with you one time too many. i know we are supposed to LEARN from our mistakes, takes me a couple of times. especially with the patience and not having such a short fuse when my kids are just not being very agreeable. and i LOVE that quote by President Hinckley. it is the encouragement a mother needs.
love wilco!!!!!! You go Honey! You can do it. The biggest project of all? Ourselves. Thanks for the reminder about how to be a strong woman full of grace. You inspire. I am excited about you.
Stephanie, thank you so much for posting this!! I love how "real" your blog is. I enjoy reading it so much and usually feel very uplifted and ready to conquer another challenge at the end of each post. I wish I lived closer to you so we could hang out and your awesomeness could rub off on me a little. =)
Most days it is so difficult to have patience and to truly enjoy being a Mom and all the frustrations that go with that calling. However, I know that on the days that I choose to forget about myself and focus on my calling to be an example of a disciple of Christ for my children, I am so much happier and my kids are, too. I want more of those days!
Even not having kids, I totally appreciate the choices you pointed out. I really like the positive options that are so easy to do if we just think about it and take the better course. Thanks!
Wow. I also discovered this in the past month (yeah, sadly it probably took that long for it to sink in) but I LOVE how beautifully you put it into words. You really are gifted.
And you are a great mom. I wish you were my mom. :)
carrie, you crazy girl, she can't be your mom.
I hate to say that I often spend time thinking about my choices only AFTER I've made a bad one. Thanks for helping to put things in perspective. Who knew that would be a survival tool as a mom :)
You are such a wonderful mom and wife. You have such a great way of expressing things. I just got this email from a friend from our old ward with a quote from Pres. Eyring, that was used in the relief society lesson. It is wonderful. Here it is (sorry its long:
President Eyring
My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.
It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.
In this education we experience misery and happiness, sickness and health, the sadness from sin and the joy of forgiveness. That forgiveness can come only through the infinite Atonement of the Savior, which He worked out through pain we could not bear and which we can only faintly comprehend.
I have seen faith and courage come from a testimony that it is true that we are being prepared for eternal life. The Lord will rescue His faithful disciples. And the disciple who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualify for eternal life can find peace in the midst of the struggle.
Amen amen amen.
oh man, i was just going to say "amen, amen, amen" but the person ahead of me on the comments stole my answer. dang.
but really, amen. life is better when we make better choices and are happy about them!
i can't wait to see what your working on for your quilt!
Thank you for that wonderful quote and your post- it came at the perfect time!
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