first of all, i have LOVED teaching so far this semester. i love my students, i love what we discuss, i love to see them light up when they put things together and discover that they can actually connect to the characters we read about, i love it all (well, maybe not the grading so much, but whatever).
and you know what? i'm just gonna say it: i'm good at teaching english 101.
i am.
i got a glowing review from the composition coordinator who observed my class this morning. i feel so happy and well utilized in the classroom.
anyway, this afternoon i got an email from the english department talking about winter semester and since no one has said anything about what class i will be teaching in winter i decided to email the comp. coordinator and approach the subject.
she let me know that unfortunately under the new administration money allotted for teaching eng101 (for people like me who only have a BA and not a masters degree) is only designated for a one time "internship"(even though my contract says special instructor). she was very gracious and apologetic about it all and really i cant blame her for this slight oversight because she didnt know when she hired me... it's a new policy that the department is having to fall in line with this year.
she mentioned something about persuing an advanced degree and i thought for a half-second, "well, maybe. i mean, i feel like this is something i am really really good at and it makes me so happy!"
but you know what?
being home with my two boys and being the one to nurture and raise them and giving them the attention they deserve is something that i am really really good at (well, i try to be) and it makes me so so very happy too.
so yes, i am disappointed to probably not teach again after this semester and yes, i would love to do it again, but i am so grateful to be ambrose and asher's mom.
and teaching them and showing them love is more important to me than pursuing a masters degree.
there is a time and a place for that and i feel that right now is the time for me to be there for my babies because they wont be this precious age forever. that really takes the edge off any disappointment i might be feeling.
whew, thanks for listening. :)
13 comments:
aw, man, that sucks!!
you are a great mom and i can only imagine how great you are as a teacher of something you are passionate about. maybe when your boys get older you can further your education and become a college english professor (or even head of the english department!) someday!! i know you can do it! and maybe other doors will open before then...you just never know.
:-)
I really really feel you. I am sorry for your disappointment, but I am happy for you and your lucky little boys ;)
I also am sorry.
I know how you feel. I want to continue school to do something I love. BUT I will never love something more than my kid.
You can tell you love that job. I know you are good too. The English department will be missing out.- their loss.
love that song too.
I have come to realize over the past three weeks how much I want to be at home!! I can't believe I left my home and started to work at this time of their lives! I missed being a full time mom! There will be other times you can work and be good at something, but now is the time to be good at being a mom and homemaker! Take pride in those two beautiful creations entrusted to you, and find ways to be good at something you can do from home!
Side note- I can't believe how big Asher has gotten! Very cute little men!!
How 'bout trying out an online masters in education program, like the one USC provides? Might take a little longer to finish, but at least that way you wouldn't have to compromise spending time away from your boys :)
good for you friend. good for you for acknowledging your strengths as an instructor. good for you for making a tough decision. the good news is that nothing's said and done. you have your whole life to pursue whatever dream education you want. i tell myself that all the time -- and i believe it because i am confident that i want it enough that i will make it happen when it is the right time. but right now more important dreams are center stage.
I'm so glad you are enjoying teaching. I wish I could come sit in on your class so I could pick up some pointers. Not that I have any plans to teach, but it has crossed my mind that if I wanted to, maybe I could. I doubt I would be as good at it as you are, and I hope that you are able to return to it someday and that it is as fun for you then as it is now.
Your a good mama. And the world needs some really sweet boys like Ambrose and Asher. So go you!
i think i don't know what to say. you said it all perfectly. even acknowledging your impressive teaching skills. like others, i so so so wish i could be in your classroom. just a fly on the wall. just a fly on the wall beaming with pride and joy for my amazing bestie. but similar to your sentiments, i wish even more that i could be a fly on the wall wherever you're getting your parenting done. because that would really be something to see. you're so special.
How wonderful for you to have such perspective. I think you will get your masters (perhaps when the wee ones are grown up) and be teaching again in the future. Hats off to you and your glowing review.
well put diana...well put.
Just think of all the extra pirate moments you are going to get out of this decision. ;-)
I am sure you are a FABULOUS teacher. What a bummer that you won't be teaching again, at least not right away. I know you are a FABULOUS mother and I truly, truly admire how you mother Ambrose and Asher. I wish I could be there to learn from you, but for now, I content myself is learning from you through your blog. You make me want to be a better mother. I thank you dear friend.
I have a strong feeling that you will be teaching again, next semester. Talk to Peterson. He offered me Frampton's class (which I took 3 days to think about and decided against, because I hate grading too, and my plate is too full with my day job turning into night grading), but when I said no he said to think about it for the future when I eventually quit my day job (in the dreamy future) and can just teach a few classes for them like Framp did. (sorry, bad sentence structure there, but I'll pretend I still support the English language.)
There's just no way they'll be able to fill all the 101 classes every semester with 1 time teachers. So here's hoping.
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