I only have one more week after today and then my semester is done and then I am back.
*back to regular stay-at-home mom life, which I love
*back to blogging I am sure
*back to sewing- and we'll start that sewing society oh yes we will... if you still even want it
*back to getting things ready for our new apartment
*back to getting good pictures taken of my family and sharing them of course (no offense iPhone)
*back to exercise. Of any sort....
And I'm excited because I love to prioritize and last month, interestingly enough, I was offered TWO jobs that I didn't even seek out.
1. Teaching Eng101 again- first term this time
but i said "no thank you" because I want to see a bunch of you on the mainland this summer and so that is that.
2. I am not even sure I am allowed to discuss it but it was a major job with a major paycheck
but I said "no thank you" because, well:
these two babies are tasty and this time we have together is sweet, and fleeting, and sometimes frustrating, but so so precious to me.
And truthfully, I think I fill the job best even when I am losing my patience with them because Heavenly Father loaned them to me and I've promised him I'll give it my all
each and every day.
And I am accountable for them.
So far we have grown-up a lot together.
I don't want to give up a minute of that job to anyone else, which I would have had to do if I took the job. I'm too selfish! :)
Little boys of mine, if you ever read this sometime in the future when you undoubtedly think I am out of touch or that I "just dont understand"- hear this: we started fresh each day and I chose YOU first... time and time and time again.
This is starting to get off track (what's new?) but I have a good friend and fellow English part-time teacher who once told me (after we discussed how she lucked out and got to teach the once weekly evening class) how about every six months she has to re-choose to be a stay-at-home mom. I believed her but I thought, "That's crazy. How could that possibly be true?"
And now I am beginning to get it. Offers come up and if they don't sacrifice nurturing my little ones GREAT, but even the extremely-part-time teaching job I loved was getting in the way of our days and starting to feel like a distraction from what was most important.
And that big job, well, truth be told I felt stupid turning down that paycheck and maybe even secretly (I'll admit it) the importance I would feel in the position I was offered.
But you know what?
I nervously turned it down- sputtering out all my reasons in an overly apologetic voice,
got off the phone,
went into the bedroom where Ambrose was playing,
got down on my knees to help him finish his block tower,
and he looked up at me with his twinkly eyes, big smile that hugs those little pearly teeth, and said "Oh mama, you're back to help me?!" and I just had to hug him close and cry a little.
I felt a rush of freedom and relief.
And you know what else?
I've never felt more important in my life.