It's all piling up.

A part recall at the dealership
that turned into an over-night fiasco
that meant I had to rent a car
wherein I found out my license had been expired since June 12
which meant I had to skip Asher's first day of mommy and me preschool
to hurry down to the DMV
so I could pay a big fine and get back in time to pick up Ambrose
where I finally got a call back from some burnt out Gov employee
who let me know in a movie-villan tone that because I was trying to be honest my kids are not eligible for insurance.... anywhere
which led me to contacting my old boss who might be able to help
but I had to rush the application to get it in RIGHT THEN and I am not sure I did it right
so my kids may not be insured until the New Year, but we'll see
and those poor kids are in time-out currently
both of them
even though Ambrose's school started three minutes ago
and I was supposed to craft at Sheila's today
and this busy week has left my house looking like a tornado hit
so now I am going to take a deep breath and drag myself that I don't like right now
due to the over-grown eyebrows, extra 10 pounds, and unwashed face
into the boys room to hug it out
get the Ambeast to school now that he's sobered up
take the Asher to the park now that he knows I mean business
tell them both how much I love them anyway
scrub my little home
and this week away...
Friday will be a good day
the end.

This week on Instagram

Sorry if these are boring, I just like having all of them saved in one place. And I'm sure my Mama likes to see them! Ok, excuses done. Here they are.
Four and a half is enough reason for cake?

He made a friend out of cardboard. He named him ROM.

So he made a hat out of an envelope.

And then he made a motor boat so he could take the strainer out to catch fish.

All this crafting made us hungry for Waialua Bakery. We thought of you Megan Walton.

An apparently dark day in Haleiwa.

Some good pals took me out to preview Moneyball. It's a really great movie.

Asher heard me talking about G&G Hawkins visiting around New Years.

And we were busting with so much excitement we decided to do a volcano experiment to pass the time.

So we got out some energy at the crazy playground

and attended the best shark and mermaid party ever!

The end!

Go ahead and grow.

Ambrose has been telling everyone that he is four and a half. He turned four and a half on the 19th and now my doctor, the nurse at Koolauloa, the cashier at Waialua bakery, the neighbors, and EVERYONE he talks to knows it too. Naturally, we had cake.



Asher has been removing his own diaper at any given point in the day and sitting on the toilet. I'll spare you a picture on this one.

Everyone seems in a hurry to grow-up.

Normally, this is the part where I whine about how I want them to stay the same forever, but I like seeing how much Ambrose has already learned since he's started school. He has started to fly through phonics and is reading his second book. Hooray!

And, to be perfectly honest, Asher is embracing the terrible-two stage so whole-heartedly that I am ready for him to grow-up too. He won't share, doesn't seem to be interested in learning to talk, and can throw a fit to end all fits. I am tired of all that, but true to classic two-year-old style he is cute as a button and gives the best tight squeezes and sweet kisses... so we'll keep him despite his current frustrations.

We check on them every night after they've been asleep for a while and dash it all if that doesn't make up for anything that went wrong during the day. Especially when rascally Asher has weaseled his way into Ambrose's bed and curled up for the night.

Sometimes we wonder if they fell asleep holding hands?

But just when things get too precious up in here, in true older brother form, Ambrose puts Asher back in his place right quick:

No wonder Asher's so indignant!

I am enjoying these boys, even when they make me pull out my hair daily. Can you tell? :)

When it's personal

I was sitting in a room with a lot of people last week feeling strong impressions of direction, good feelings, and promise.

It was a little over-whelming, invigorating, and honestly I have rarely experienced such a confirmation of the Spirit.

I try and keep close to the Spirit in my life so I can help others who need me, feel good about the path I am on, and comfort in times of need. It's almost something I take for granted, because I've tried to let it become a part of who I am to the core.

But last week was so different, and seemed bigger than the nudge I usually feel to call and offer to watch someone's kids or take someone a meal. This was a big life decision. I haven't felt this for a while. I was excited and scared and unsure of how to interpret this flood of feeling.

How do you sort it out?

Was this just a positive confirmation that I was in the right place, doing something good, or was this a big shove in a more complicated direction?

I am sorry to be so vague, but I am still sorting out all the details and possibilities myself. I won't have it all figured out anytime this year or maybe even next. What I thought "it" was last week has taken a different shape this week as I explore the possibilities, attend the temple, and continually pray for guidance.

I think I wanted a definite, shouting, clarifying answer. I think I wanted an etched-out course with a precise plan.

But, the more I ponder this new opportunity, the more I see that the Lord would never work that way. He lets us chose. He helps us to feel peace once we have done all the work to find the absolute best option for our family and selves.

I think I am so inexperienced with big, life-changing personal revelation that the first thought that entered my mind felt like the only choice. I was scared, but trusting in His plan for me. I know the Lord has a plan for us, but it's not a predestined command and agency is ours. I am grateful for this.

I am glad that this experience has allowed Thomas and I to sit down and decide what we want to do as a family, where we want to be, what we will give our precious time and energy to.

I am grateful that no matter what, whenever I put my husband and family first, I feel joy and peace.

Mostly I am just grateful for this sudden break in my life to sit and examine what I want, what the Lord wants, and feel so close to my family and Heavenly Father as I make the right choice. It has put everything into perspective for me. I am grateful that He gave me this chance to feel all of that. It helped me to stop the auto-pilot, seriously examine what we were doing, what we want, and make a good choice.

Isn't it cool that we all have this chance? Personal revelation is a marvelous gift.

I am so grateful for this intense week and in-love with my supportive husband and irresistible children. I will never, ever get tired of putting them first and dedicating my time to things I love on the side. I will never be sorry that I give them all I can possibly give. I feel peace in my role as their mother and grateful for the gifts and talents Heavenly Father has blessed me with to feel utilized and fulfilled in many roles in addition to the great love I have for my children.

I am curious to see what the Lord has in store for our family, and eager to learn more. What a journey and continual learning process! It would be exhausting if it weren't completely wonderful.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Prov. 3:5–6).

Life is, in fact, good. Thanks for reading.

This week on Instagram

Thomas made all my Snapware dreams come true and brought this home one day.

I was more excited than a 2011 woman should ever be. I've used just about the whole set already. I'll save anything in a container, big or teeny tiny, in the fridge now. Anything.

I find Ambrose's paper creations laying around the house all the time.

Crafty little spaceman.

I like being on campus.

This photo was taken moments before the fateful *Marie* encounter!

Drum Saturdays have returned:

and apparently you need just the right stick

to make an unholy amount of noise. Drum Saturdays are short and everyone suffers ear damage as a result. But it's fun.

In case you are wondering The Lion King 3D is awesome.

And I had a pretty delightful little date along with me. I really just had children to have an excuse to go to things like this.

Thomas and I snuck away Saturday night and ate one of the best meals I've had in a while.

12th Ave Grill in Kaimuki, you did not disappoint. If you ever need a restaurant recommendation, talk to my pal Mariko and she will HOOK YOU UP.

And then Asher magically started saying words that made sense and he was like, "Hey Mama, you didn't take me on a date last Saturday!"

And I was all, "You're right little buddy, let's work on that for next weekend. Sky's the limit." And then he said, "Dish." Or something like that.

My mother-in-law is inarguably the most patient woman on the planet and will always make all manner of tents and forts with the boys at the drop of a hat.

And they love it. I officially want to be more fun with my children when I look at this photo. You too?

And now we're all fed, washed, dried, brushed, sang to and prayed for.

And ready for a new week of adventures!

The great Halloween debate

I love Halloween so much that I buy several decorations for it every year... we have quite the collection going. Just one or two little things every year... it's adding up nicely. I love to dress up and I love making the kids costumes and I love bugging Thomas about how he hates to dress up. It's all part of our Halloween ritual around here. In the past Ambrose has had some input as to what his costume will be, but mostly I have had the final say... making my job that much easier since I mostly make all his costumes. We pick something and stick with it long enough to find and buy or make whatever we need.

This year is different.

He has my zest for holidays and all the attention span of.... an excited four year old boy I guess.

For a few months I have been dilligently trying to convince him he was born to be Peter Pan for Halloween. Think of it friends!

Ambrose=Peter Pan
Asher=Michael (can't you just see him in pink footie pjs carrying around his bear!)
Me=Wendy
Thomas=JOHN! hahahaha (It would surely take some convincing to get him in a big, white night-dress, but he looks just like him! Glasses and all!)

Ambrose would entertain the idea for a bit and then change his mind... much to the relief of the would-be-John.

Here are just a few of the MANY costume suggestions he has made so far this year:
Woody, and I jumped all over this! Ash could be Buzz (his favorite) and I could be Jessie and Thomas... army guy I guess... least embarrassing Toy Story costume and let's face it, he would just wear his army shorts he's had as long as I've known him with a t-shirt.

Then he firmly settled on ANDY.

Andy from Toy Story? So..... jeans and a t-shirt and a red hat.... surely everyone would know exactly who he was. A part of me was like, "Psst, take the bait Robertson, easiest costume of all time!" and I nearly did, but the other part of me slapped my face and was like, "Get it together Robertson! This is Halloween we're talking about here!"
And then there was the whole day he insisted he was going to be a ROCKSTAR! I could live with that, but how exactly would we pull that off? There's so many different types:
The stereotypical Slash prototype?

Please no.
Let's take it more wholesome, like Ben Gibbard?

Again, kinda like Andy... not really a costume.
More iconic Kurt Cobain?

Oh yeah, Melissa and Nate were Kurt and Courtney one year and she said no one knew who they were.
He could borrow our glasses for a night and pull off a convincing Rivers Cuomo:

Nah, no matter how you slice it rockstars aren't that recognizable in costume... unless I just send him shirtless and draw some tattoos on him with sharpie


...not for my baby boy. He needs a more Upstanding look....

heh heh... ok, rockstar. No.
So, then he settled on a horse. Echo, do you think he heard us talking yesterday? How random that he would all of a sudden say that this morning.

I'll leave such costumes to way better seamstresses than I. I steered him (pun intended?) away from livestock.
Oh yeah, then he wanted to be Wall-E.

I think I could find a cardboard box and figure something out.
In the end his latest pick is Ironman.

He's been excited about it and it might stick. So.... is this my easy out? An ugly, cheap Walmart costume?

It really doesn't matter when you come right down to it as long as the boy can easily get around and have fun memories. But if I am making it I want to start soon and if I am buying his costume, I also need to start soon... Hawaii is nuts people. Shelves are bare a few weeks into October.

I kind of want to make costumes for my kids because that's a fun mom thing to do and my mom did it... but the boy, for now, has settled on something I refuse to make when Walmart already has it in every size....

What do you do for Halloween? Are you as psycho as me? Do you treat it like a Project Runway challenge or is it just Walmart or bust?

Backhanded compliment?

I don't usually post actual experiences from work because it doesn't seem professional, but this is too funny. I had to share.

Yesterday was the first day of the semester and I had to wait outside of my first classroom while the previous class finished up.

I stood in the hallway unnoticed by the students that started to congregate and wait as well. They all wore first day of school outfits and stood uncomfortably exchanging names and introductions. I kept a little away from them and avoided eye contact because, as a rule, I try to separate myself as the teacher and be the strictest version of myself on the first day.

Eventually I noticed a girl right beside me and in the interest of not seeming like a complete snob I gave her a little smile nod. She was clearly nervous and quickly admitted, "Oh man, I do not want to take this class at all."

"Oh?" I said, uncertain of how to procede from here since she had no idea who I was and was obviously looking for commiseration. "Yeah, English can be really tough, but we'll try and make it fun......"

Confusion scrunched up all over her face. She hadn't put it together yet so I awkwardly stumbled on, "I mean, man, if I was standing in front of a math class, for instance, right now... I would be sweating bullets! Because..."

"Wait, what's your name?" It quickly and painfully began to dawn on her.

"Sister Robertson," I admitted in relief and embarrassment at the same time.

"OH! Well, then I am SO EXCITED to take this class!" she joked in a panicked tone. "I was just thinking, that girl looks way too old to be taking this class," she blurted out before she could stop herself.

I am dying laughing right about now.

"Way too old huh?" I say a little too loudly. "What's your name?"

*"Marie"*

"Well, *Marie*, you are off to a fantastic start!" I laughed as the class before us finally filed out and I left poor *Marie* to work-out the delightfulness of what just occurred.

WAY TOO OLD PEOPLE?!?!

hahahahahahhahaha

I'm still in my 20s you know. And I will be for like 3 more years. Wait, that's like a decade older than good old *Marie*.

Oh well, the class went on as it always does and *Marie* turned out to be quite the lovely girl. People just say the most awesome stuff when they are nervous. I chuckled about it for the rest of the evening.

*- names have been changed to protect the innocent.... or name that is.

Here, every post needs a picture but in the interest of protecting *Marie's* privacy here's a picture of what Amy Winehouse would look like had she ever been pregnant. What? You never go to baby showers where the theme is pregnant celebrities? That's weird. She was 27 too. I will always love her. The end.

We like.

Asher likes to be my baby. He seems to understand that his baby days are slipping further and further away and so he lets me carry him everywhere when we run errands.... as if he can't walk. And he lets me refuse to even pretent to potty train him until he's at least three.... even though he has an enthusiastic interest in it. And he lets me rock him and snuggle up basically whenever I want... even though he is not an infant.... he gets it. He fills my baby need. Precious little baby.

He also likes to drink milk night and day. Don't worry people, it's cows milk. I am not nursing a big two year old baby, but he honestly drinks more milk than he eats food. Asher, you're not really a baby. You can eat other things. Now you know.


Ambrose likes Black Sabbath.

HA! No, not really. But, yeah, kinda.

We were driving home from preschool, listening to the classic rock station when a Black Sabbath song came on and a few bars in I got bored and changed the channel just as Ambrose screamed, "I love that song! Turn it back Mom! I love that song! Who is it?" Me: "Black Sabbath." (I was surprised I somehow knew that.) Ambrose: "Yeah, Black Sabbath, I LOVE IT!!!!"

We're so proud.

Anyway, Ambrose also loves to say, "Oh, look at those bad people smoking and hurting their bodies and making Heavenly Father so sad!" Right in front of unassuming smokers we happen to walk by at a store, park, wherever.... so he is a self-righteous Black Sabbath lover. Interesting combo.

4 is a great age.

Ambrose has been craftier than usual lately. As soon as I can find all the pictures of his latest crafts I want to post them. He cracks me up.


Thomas likes modeling.

Ok, that claim was misleading again.

He likes that I am learning to use his fancy camera once and for all and so he puts up with me sneaking up while he is playing guitar to work on the lighting. A good friend has asked me to take pictures of her new baby when she gives birth so I have been trying to get better at all kinds of indoor lighting with the big, intimidating flash and whatnot. It is fun and I am glad for the chance to get better at it.

Thomas and I have actually enjoyed being major homebodies lately. We are always pretty low-key like that, but more than ever we have just soaked up our evenings together when the boys go to bed. It's nice to hang-out with the person you love.

I like that today is the first day of Fall semester because I feel refreshed from intense First term and ready to go back to my old, short schedule. Two classes, one hour each, in the evening when Thomas is already home, in and out and done! Feels good to be back in the swing of things.

I hope you liked reading this. If not, I am, like, sorry. The end.

Last week-ish on Instagram

Peachy keen.

Balloon igloo.

Baby haoles.

I think I could live there. I'm good at befriending wild dogs and building primitive tools to skewer my own meat.

My main cure for the mean reds.

Chug-chug-chug!

Cassie's mobile I want to copy someday.

Aloha Friday.